03 - The Wicked Lady Page 19

  So, she'd gone to her family. What else could he have expected? That she would stay because she loved him? Had he hoped that she did care enough? Surely, he hadn't grown that soft.

  Then he remembered the jewels she'd hidden from him. Evidently, she had planned to leave him anyway, so it was better that it had happened now. From this moment on, Kristen would be dead to him. He would have all reminders of her removed from his home before the sun went down.

  He knew, then, that love didn't exist, except in his grandmother's mind.

  He'd been foolish to think-- He broke off the thought and ran a hand through his hair.

  He wouldn't be so foolish again.

  Three weeks had passed, and Kristen still felt strange with her new family. The fact that she missed Trevor didn't help, but she tried not to think of him.

  Scotgrow, her grandfather's manor, didn't feel like home, though she'd been born to it, but she was trying to adjust. All her childhood dreams now made sense to her. She hadn't been dreaming, but remembering bits of her childhood all this time. Her life could have been so different had she not been stolen away, she thought sadly. It could have been full of flowers, silks, and all of the finer things.

  As the weeks dragged by, she and Keely grew bonded. Like most sisters, they talked and giggled, except they were closer since they were twins. However, Keely was vastly different from Kristen. Keely was a proper lady with genteel manners. She'd never seen life beyond the walls of Scotgrow. She had had everything Kristen hadn't.

  Kristen couldn't imagine living a life so confined. It was true that she hadn't been raised in the life of luxury, but she had truly tasted life on the other side. The things she had learned could never come from books. Looking back, she probably wouldn't have traded those experiences, no matter how bad they were, because she knew she had grown from each one.

  But having experienced that life, she now felt suspended between both worlds. She didn't feel as if she belonged in either one.

  After days of drizzling rain, the weather finally grew mild with a gentle breeze. The climate was never very warms, she'd learn.

  Kristen and Keely decided to go for a picnic lunch. They along with Hagan rode away from the house on their horses with a basket packed with a feast. They settled on a nice grassy hill where they spread their blankets and laid out the food on top. Hagan didn't have to be asked twice to eat. His exuberance showed how much he was enjoying his lunch.

  After they ate, Kristen noticed Hagan was sitting in a corner playing with a blade of grass. He should be up running around, she thought.

  "Are ye all right, Hagan?" Kristen asked.

  "I guess so." He sighed, and Kristen could see that same sadness she'd seen in him for the past two weeks, and she wasn't sure what to do about it.

  Hagan had been polite to Ian and Keely, but he wasn't his usually happy self. He'd been so withdrawn. She had a hunch that Hagan missed Trevor, and she knew she missed the man--so much it hurt. Yet, Trevor had not come after her. Obviously, he wanted nothing more to do with them. He was probably very happy to have them out of his hair.

  "Why don't ye ride yer pony for a while so Keely and I can sit here and talk?"

  "All right." Hagan scrambled to his feet and wiped his hands on the back of his breeches. Kristen shook her head. When would he remember to use his napkin?

  "Dinna go far."

  Hagan gave her a grin that reminded her of his old self, then he mounted his pony.

  "He's a bonny lad," Keely said.

  "Aye, he is," Kristen agreed, watching him mount. "But ye've not seen the real Hagan. He's been much too quiet since we've been here. I hope he comes out of this mood soon."

  "I bet he misses yer husband?"

  Kristen looked at Keely and frowned. "I think he does."

  "Ye've not told me much about this mon ye married. Tell me what he's like."

  " 'Tis a hard question ye ask. I dinna know how tae describe a mon that's bigger than life. He's a nice to look at and his shoulders are this big." Kristen held her hands out wide. "There are times when he looks at me and I just melt into a puddle. He can be tender and kind. I hate tae say it, but I canna help myself when I'm near him. Yet, he can also be cold and withdrawn. I dinna like him much at those times because I dinna know what he's thinking or how he feels. . . . It's all so confusing," Kristen admitted.

  Keely's eyes widened, and Kristen laughed.

  "And his eyes . . . they can be as blue as a morning sky or as green as the new grass."

  " 'Tis a pretty picture ye painted." Keely gave her sister a puzzled look. "Why did ye leave him?"

  " 'Tis a long story. Maybe I should begin with how we met." Kristen started telling her sister everything that had happened to her since she'd met Trevor. When she'd finished, Keely said nothing.

  Kristen waited for her sister's reaction. She knew the story sounded farfetched, but it was all true. "Well?"

  " 'Tis the most romantic thing I've ever heard," Keely said, a faraway look on her face.

  "Nay, I dinna say he loved me. 'Twas just a simple agreement."

  Keely opened the hamper lid so she could put everything back. "Perhaps, that's the way it started out, but I'll wager the mon loves ye."

  "If that's true, then why hasn't he come after me? Ye've not seen him breaking the door down tae get us back."

  Keely thought for a moment, nibbling at her bottom lip. "Perhaps it is pride. Ye left him. Maybe he is waitin' for ye tae come back. Perhaps he thinks that since ye left, that ye dinna love him."

  "I dinna love him," Kristen stated firmly.

  "I believe ye do."

  "Why would ye say that?"

  "Because when ye talk about him, like ye were just doing, yer face lights up and yer eyes turn all dreamy like." Keely laughed. "Yer voice changes, too."

  "I dinna believe that." Kristen pressed both hands over her eyes as if they burned with weariness.

  "Well, ye should," Keely persisted. " 'Tis true. I would not lie tae ye."

  Kristen felt empty and drained. "He told me tae go."

  "He was also drunk, and probably hurting somethin' fierce I believe ye said, and probably doesn't remember anything he uttered."

  "The liquor 'tis a problem." Kristen sighed and shook her head.

  "But he'd never done it before," Keely reminded her. "Remember his grandmother had just died. He just slipped -- 'tis possible. Haven't ye ever made a mistake before?"

  Lord, she was sweet, Kristen thought. Mistake? Kristen had made so many, she'd quit counting long ago.

  Kristen considered what her sister said. "This must be a first: a Johnstone taking up for a Claremont."

  "I dinna see the point in the feud. I dinna know what happened, and I've never gotten grandfather to tell me what it's about. Therefore, I can't judge people I dinna know."

  "Well, I canna tell ye, either, because Trevor doesn't know."

  They both laughed at the ridiculous situation. Suddenly, Keely stopped and asked, "Tell me what it's like tae be kissed."

  Kristen blushed, her cheeks feeling like fire. " 'Tis very nice, but I dinna know if I can explain it in words."

  "Try, please," Keely begged like a child wanting to hear a story.

  "It is wonderful. He holds me tightly like he's afraid someone will take me away. And then there's his kisses, his lips are soft and warm. They are so demanding that it takes my breath from me, and I cease to remember anything else but him . . . the feeling . . . the taste . . . it's all him."

  "Oh, Kristen." Keely clapped her hands together. "That sounds so wonderful. I only hope that one day I can experience such feelings."

  "You will," Kristen assured her. Then, realizing she hadn't seen Hagan, she looked around for him. "One day ye'll be able tae tell me how it feels for ye."

  Kristen clambered to her feet. "I wonder where Hagan has gotten himself off to?" she murmured, scanning the area for any sign of him.

  "Hagan! Hagan!" Kristen shouted, but received no response.

&nbs
p; "Ah, well. He must have found an interesting puddle to play in." She shrugged, and set about packing up the remains of their picnic.

  Hagan still hadn't returned. Kristen turned to her sister. "I should go and look for him. Ye go back tae the house so that they dinna worry about us."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Without a second thought, Kristen turned her horse and headed home.

  Home. Strange how she could think of Chatsworth as home after such a short time, but she did. Unfortunately, she'd never be at home with her family. She just didn't belong. Would she always feel like an outsider, no matter where she went?

  The beautiful rolling hills were covered with purple and yellow wildflowers, and the trees were lush and green. A cool breeze tease Kristen's lose strands of hair and tickled her nose as she neared Chatsworth. She reached up and brushed the tresses out of her face and that's when she caught a glimpse of the shimmering lake where she, Trevor and Hagan had tossed stoned. She realized that Chatsworth was the closest thing to home she'd ever known.

  The ride across the estate seemed to take forever, but finally, she spotted the familiar, long barn and the horses out in the pens beside the building. However, she didn't see Hagan's pony.

  Kristen couldn't take time to sort out her mixed up emotions. Hagan was the most important thing to her right now. She had to find him.

  She didn't stop at the stables, but rode across the back lawns. If she could locate Trevor, surely Hagan would be close by. She was preparing to dismount when a harsh voice stopped her.

  "What are you doing here?" Trevor demanded, his expression wretched. "I thought you preferred your new home."

  Kristen stared at him for a moment, then lifted her chin a tad.

  Trevor's face was much too pale, and circles darkened his eyes, as if he hadn't had enough sleep. She wondered how much he'd been working.

  Had he thought of her? She most certainly had thought of him more than she cared to admit. It was hard to forget his broad shoulders and sculpted mouth. Today his eyes were blue and cynical, and held not a trace of warmth. He was dressed impeccably in a hunter green jacket and tan breeches as normal, but his usual dapper air was missing, as he watched her.

  "Are you through with your inspection?" he inquired in a bored voice.

  Trevor narrowed his eyes, showing his angry disgust, and Kristen realized that he blamed her for leaving him. When he was the one who had practically thrown her out!

  Of all the nerve!

  Tears burned the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of seeing her cry. However, she needed his help, so there was nothing she could do but swallow her pride and ask, "I can't find Hagan. Is he here?"

  "Of course not. He left with you."

  Kristen slid from her horse and, luckily, landed on her feet. "But he's not with me! That's the bloody problem." She advanced in his direction. "Earlier today, he was telling me how much he missed ye, and then he up and disappeared. He went for a ride, and didn't come back." She stopped in front of Trevor. "I thought maybe--"

  "I miss Hagan, as well," Trevor said softly, his expression softening for a moment, then he straightened and the coldness returned, "As you can see, he isn't with me."

  The blood drained from Kristen's head. She swayed. The next thing she knew, Trevor had wrapped his arms around her, and he pulled her to his side.

  "What's wrong?" She heard him say.

  At least he'd caught her, Kristen thought ruefully, her head still swimming. Just maybe that was concern she thought she'd heard in his voice. "If Hagan isn't here . . ." She took a deep worried breath. "Then I'm afraid that Ned has taken him."

  "Your stepfather?" Trevor stared at her with disbelief. "How could he get him?" Trevor must have realized he was touching her, for he immediately dropped his arms as if he'd been burnt. "The last time I saw the man, he was in London."

  "Well, Ned isn't in London anymore. Three weeks ago he accosted me while I was riding and swore that, if I didn't provide him with valuables, he would take Hagan and teach him tae steal."

  "So you were stealing from me all along." Trevor concluded with disgust.

  To her annoyance, she found herself blushing. "Nay!" she almost shouted. "I dinna do that. What ye must have found was taken before I ever came tae Chatsworth." She seethed with anger and humiliation, but ironically she knew she would need Trevor's help, so she swallowed her pride. "But then ye never wanted tae hear any explanations, as I recall."

  "I know the reason," he spat out the words contemptuously. "You promised you would not steal!"

  Kristen clenched her fists at her side. Oh, how she'd love to give him the bloody nose he deserved. "Yer as thick-headed as ever! Iwill not argue with ye. Ye already have me tried and convicted, so what's the point?" She threw up her hands and let them fall. "For now, I just want tae find Hagan, and then we'll be gone . . . out of yer life." She clapped her hands together. "Just like that!"

  A muscle twitched in Trevor's rigid jaw, and Kristen held her breath while she waited for him to speak.

  "How long has Hagan been missing?"

  "At least three hours now."

  "Go to the house, and I will go after him."

  "Nay." She set her mouth in a stubborn line.

  "Don't argue with me, Kristen." His jaw clenched, and his eyes narrowed slightly. "We're losing precious time."

  "I agree." She took a deep, unsteady breath and stepped back. "He's my brother, and I'll not stay behind."

  Trevor shook his head. "I can go faster without you."

  "I will not stay behind. I'll follow ye."

  "Christ, but you are stubborn," he said curtly. "Somehow I'd forgotten that small flaw."

  Kristen lifted her chin until she could look him in the eye. "How can ye be forgetting my flaws when ye are constantly pointing them out to me?" She knew she should be quiet, but the words came out before she could stop them.

  "Kristen!" he snarled with warning. "We can argue our differences later. Hagan is more important right now."

  "At least, we agree on that point," she said grudgingly.

  He took her horse's reins. "Go inside and gather your things. As I recall you left most of them in your haste to get away." He waited for her to say something. When she didn't, he added, "We are heading for London." He started toward the stables. "I'll have the carriage readied." Then, as if an afterthought hit him, he said, "You do remember where your room is located?"

  "Aye, unless ye've moved it."

  Trevor strode briskly to the stable where he issued instructions like a general. "Baxter, ready my carriage and my guard. will be going to London for several days."

  Baxter propped his pitchfork next to a stall. "Consider it done, Your Grace," Baxter said as he turned and marched down the stables issuing orders to the stable boys.

  Trevor started back to the house. A rumble in the distance drew his attention, and he looked upward at the blackened clouds.

  Rain. Just what he needed to make this day worse. He should have his bloody head examined for letting that female back into his life. He massaged the muscles in the back of his neck as he walked up the back steps onto the terrace.

  He had expected that Kristen would come back to him of her own free will, not because she needed his help. He'd hoped that she cared for him, at least, a little. Of course, that was his mistake. Trevor stiffened.

  He realized, after the second week, that he'd been wrong. At the first sign of trouble, Kristen had run and deserted him, just like everyone else had in his life had always done. She should have given him the benefit of the doubt and waited until he'd sobered up. But, no, she had run away. If she had loved him, she would have believed in him. She would have stayed.

  When he reached Kristen's room, he told her to pack a few things and meet him out front in precisely ten minutes--no arguments!

  The sun was low in the sky when, accompanied by four guards, they finally left Chatsworth. Thunder boomed, rolling across the landscape, a foreboding sound as
the sky darkened and rain began to pelt down. Trevor knew they were in for a downpour.

  The carriage was much too small, he thought. At least when they each were in their present gloomy moods, it felt way too confined. He made sure that he sat on one side, Kristen on the other . . with an imaginary line drawn between them.

  She stared out the window, and had yet to look at him. He knew she couldn't see anything but the raindrops sliding down the window. Yes, this would be a long journey, he was sure.

  "I had a messenger sent to Johnstone, telling him where you were," Trevor finally said, wondering why he didn't keep his mouth shut. She was not in the mood to talk.

  "Thank you," Kristen murmured. She turned and leveled a cold stare at him. "I didn't even think about them," she admitted, a little shame-faced.

  Trevor couldn't seem to help himself, but the next question slipped out before he could stop it. "How do you like your new family?"

  Kristen was startled by the question. She darted her gaze to him to see if he was going to make fun of her. She decided this time he seemed sincere in asking. "They're fine. I have a twin sister who looks like me, and I've enjoyed getting tae know her. But they're still strangers tae me. I dinna feel like I belong."

  "There are two of you?" Trevor chuckled.

  Kristen arched an eyebrow. "Ye find that amusing, do ye?"

  "Unfortunately, I do." He looked at her and then burst out laughing. "One of you is enough trouble. God help us all now that there are two of you."

  "I resent that." Kristen tried to keep a straight face but failed miserably. At least, Trevor seemed to be out of the angry mood he'd been in earlier. "My sister is sweet." Kristen grabbed the first thing that came to her mind to defend Keely.

  "Really." Trevor's brow rose a fraction. "Then you're not exactly alike."

  Kristen picked up a book that was lying in the corner of the seat and threw it at him.

  Trevor caught the volume before it could hit him. "See, you have proven my point. And quite nicely, I might add." He chuckled again.